I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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