who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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