You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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