Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
