I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
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