Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
