porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
