And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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