thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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