talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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