Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize