Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
