Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I touched a dick in church today
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
