my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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