I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
