Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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