this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
