He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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