yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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