I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
