There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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