He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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