Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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