It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
