I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
