Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
