I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The adults are the big ones right?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
