is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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