Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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