I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
