I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
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he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
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I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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