Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
