I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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