why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was like eating out sand paper
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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