Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
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it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.