My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
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He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work