did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
