My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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