Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
nutella sex= disaster
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
