Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
