just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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