btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
