I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
