She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
