i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just want to make out with him forever
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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