More tranny stories later!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize