the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
