oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
