Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
