I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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