I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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