Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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