If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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