I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
