Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
