Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
