Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
