I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
