i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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