It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
farters have to be the big spoon...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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