I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
