Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
