My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
